Every November, men across the world stop shaving their upper lip and begin a thirty-day experiment their families would describe as a cry for help. A few produce a proper moustache. Some produce a smudge you’d want to wipe off a window. Most end up looking like a man who has just finished a sandwich.
This is Movember. It started in Melbourne in 2003, with a couple of friends and, presumably, a long evening. It has since grown into a global charity that raises money for men’s health: prostate cancer, testicular cancer and mental health, suicude prevention included. The moustache is the opening line. Nobody can say “What’s with the face?” without it going somewhere.
It matters because men are excellent at ignoring things. A strange lump. A pain that has been there since August. A low mood that has lasted a season. The standard male medical procedure is to wait, google it at 2 a.m., and wait some more. “It’ll sort itself out” is practically our national anthem. We will queue for four hours to get a car serviced, and we can’t find twenty minutes for ourselves.
Talking is worse. Ask a man how he is and “fine” comes back in under a second, delivered the way you’d give a PIN. Ask again and you might get “can’t complain”, which is the same word in a coat. A moustache gives everyone a reason to ask, and gives him something to say that isn’t “fine”. “How’s it going?” “Don’t ask, it’s coming in patchy.” By our standards, that’s therapy.
The jokes can stop for a moment here. Men are far less likely to tell anyone they’re struggling, and the cost of that silence is real. If it’s you, tell someone. A mate will do.
The rest of the month is more cheerful. Week one, you look like you forgot. Week two, you look like you gave up. In week three, you start to get glances, and by week four you’ve grown oddly fond of it. Women are welcome to take part, and to roll their eyes at the results, which is also a service. The money goes into research and into support for the men who need it.
If you’re growing one, good luck. If you can’t, donate. Shave it off on 1 December if you must. Keep the appointment.
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